sick of.....

I am so sick of the rain!!! It is such a cold raw rain out there right now....would love to be having an indian summer right about now, maybe that would cheer me up???? I am so sick of feeling like a prisoner in my own house, for a while I felt so safe here, but in the past couple weeks my "safe" feeling has left....I even have had to call the police, I've had someone stalking me & it really really sucks...it increases my stress levels which increases my pain levels...sick to my stomach all the time. It is so sad that when i want to take a shower I don't even feel safe....see it is a horrible scarey feeling because we have found out that there are a few people that Tim arrested have now been let out of jail & would love revenge...so i just can't put into words how horrible this is!!! I never thought i would have to live a life where i have to carry a loaded weapon with me at all times, keep loaded weapons in my house...exactly why i told tim i would never move to the city I didn't want to live like this. My children are frightend to know someone is watching us! It is tearing the family up....I do have to say I have an amazing friend that keeps a close eye on me when Tim has to work.
I see everyone is posting what they are thankful for...so I'm going to try to focus on the positive for a moment....I am thankful for the warmth of in our home, thankful tim has a good job, thankful for the good meds that get me through the day, thankful all our family that will be joined together next week, thankful I have the most amazing children that try so hard to make there mama smile everyday, so thankful of the people they have become, thankful for my TRUE REAL friends, of course can't forget my little four legged kids...
So today I am really going to try to pull myself out of the corner where I can't be watched & amount to something little...I hope but for now really enjoying the smell of my wonderful candles burning & scenting the house nicely....